Finding Flowers: Timing

But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is, Amen. 1 Nephi 9:6


God knew Primrose would return back to heaven on July 24, 2017 and he prepared the way to show us that he knows us personally and that he understands how incredibly difficult this would be. I have come to know without a doubt that there is no such thing as coincidences in this life. Heavenly Father perfectly plans and places things in our life to help bind and lift us up.

When we originally planned our trip to Utah we were looking at different dates all together, but last second we changed our plans to be there July 18-27. Many miracles happened because of this date change that I will forever be grateful for. I won't list all of them in this particular post, but hope to remember and list them all in the future.

Four short days before having Primrose we were able to have family/maternity photos taken by the incredible Kaylie at Photos by Kaylie. Originally when I booked her,  I was planning a lot of maternity photo ideas but as we showed up and met Kaylie, I told her that I wanted to mainly do family photos with just a few specific maternity photos. This seemed so odd to me since I spent months planning and thinking of maternity photos, but I know this thought was inspired as we now have many more family photos of us four for the last time in this lifetime. Many photos have a heavenly presence and a few even seem to show Poppy and Prim together holding hands or playing. I'm so grateful that we had Kaylie take our photos as Heavenly Father was able to work through her to capture our most treasured photographs of all time. One of my greatest sorrows is not being able to watch my darling girls grow up together and have a million pictures of them.  I know Heavenly Father knew this and gifted us these beautiful pictures to hold on to.

The day we had Prim, Aaron's parents (who live in England) flew into Salt Lake City. The unreal timing to have both of our parents/families there as our lives fell apart is something I will never be able to repay. I have no recollection of the two days after delivery and I'm so grateful Aaron could lean on his parents, his uncle, and my family when I couldn't be there for him. Due to my intense critical condition following, we had to be admitted to the ICU and both of our families took such good care of Poppy so that Aaron didn't have to leave my side and she wasn't completely thrown off/devastated with her parents both gone suddenly without warning. Poppy gained a deep love for our family members that makes my heart happy since we currently live away from everyone in our families.

Being in Utah, in itself, was a huge miracle divinely designed and planned by our loving Heavenly Father. So many connections I'll later discuss have become such tender mercies to me. Although it hurts to not have her graveside close... with the amount of times we've moved and will potentially move in the future, it gives me comfort that she is buried in Utah which will always be a constant place we will return to visit and perhaps eventually live again someday.

Her graveside is at Larkin where Aaron and I had our wedding reception 6 years prior which reminds us of the weekend we decided on forever and became an eternal family that allows us to be with Primrose again one day. Larkin also was a place that reminds me of my good old Alta Hawk soccer days and conditioning week. We would run sand hills and our 6 mile run right by Larkin. Those conditioning days were always the most trying and hardest. They were extremely exhausting and difficult, yet we always conquered and were better for them which I find incredibly symbolic of our life here on out. She is also accompanied by my second mom Trishelle who I know is loving on her in heaven until we are able to.

So many people happened to be in Utah to help make her service perfect. Our bishop from our ward in Chicago happened to be in Utah when everything transpired (and so was our previous Bishop who we love as well!). Our Bishop and his wife, whom we love dearly, not only came to visit us in the hospital but he conducted Prim's funeral service. He helped create the most perfect day for our little girl. Everyone who participated and came to Prim's services or who were there in spirit mean so much to us. We truly couldn't be living this life without you all and being in Utah allowed us to be surrounded with so many more people who have shaped our lives.

In D&C 84:88 it says..."for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up". Our hearts and life are still shattered, but I'm so grateful for these tender mercies to help bear me up and keep me going... one day at a time.