Tuesday, August 14, 2018

A Garden Party for Primrose

Celebrated eternal families and one year closer to Prim by throwing a family Garden Party on her birthday.

From eating cake and sweets, painting #flowersforprim, releasing balloons to heaven, talking and playing with family, and finishing under the twinkle lights watching fireworks...I'm sure Primrose loved it. Poppy gave her several laughs at the end by running around naked and jumping in the bucket of ice water!

Although it was hard, it felt nice to actually do something I love for her. It felt "perfectly Prim" which reminds me that I knew exactly who she was when she was living inside of me. I could sense her very being and personality.

Oh how we can't wait to re-celebrate her first birthday and every milestone and moment we've missed when we get to raise her in the eternities. Nothing could be sweeter <3 

July 24,2018

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Flowers for Prim: One Year Closer

ONE YEAR | one year missing you but one year closer to being with you again <3

Primrose we love and miss you more than we'll ever be able to explain. This year has been the most grueling, exhausting, trying, and humbling year of our lives. I'm naturally an emotional person but I've never cried this consistently before. I've never ached and hurt more emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I've never questioned God or felt more abandoned in my life. I've never been so angry and bitter. I've never sadly withdrawn more from the gospel or friends and family until this year. I've never been as mentally tired as I have this year.

With all these awful 'nevers' (that are hard to admit sometimes) we have also experienced 'sweet nevers'. We've never felt more love or support from family, friends, and complete strangers until this year. We've never had the chance to witness such incredible thoughtfulness and compassion until this year. We've never received more help emotionally, spiritually, and financially until this past year. We have never received as many tender mercies until this year. I've never had to pray so deeply and earnestly. I've never had the opportunity to re-learn the gospel and discover incredible insights. I've never had the privilege to see the blessings of seeking therapy. I've never been more grateful for friends and family who have stuck by my side even when I withdrew. I've never had the opportunity to meet women and families who I have instantly connected to and could bare my soul to so quickly until this year. I've never found myself at a point of nearly letting go of my beliefs and being able to recognize and choose it all all over again because of its truth. Etc. Etc. Etc.

The heartache continues but we are still standing. Our family is strong and the love we have for each other will get us through the years waiting for you. We love you darling Prim and are happy we are one year closer to being with you again. Happy birthday our beautiful darling<3

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